Tools for Communicating Effectively With Your Child

Communicating With Your Child
Communicating With Your Child

Our kids are growing up in a society run by electronic media.  Communicating with Social media creates an environment that replaces the need for in-person communication. Friendships develop on Social media rather than in school, and texting replaces the need to call.

+ 6 hours per day on media use – TV, smartphones, tablets, etc. – More than ANY other activity. It’s no surprise that this level of electronic media has a profound effect on our kids.

Electronics Devices lead people to spend more time in front of computers. In the last several years, many studies involving the regular use of communication devices such as cell phones have been conducted to verify their impact on health.

Even if your child sleeps for 8-10 hours, it doesn’t mean their sleep quality is restored. Does your child wake up extremely irritable? Is fight going to sleep?

One of the most important things you can do is monitor and limit your child’s use of social media, which isn’t always an easy task. Especially as they move more into the teen years, kids aren’t likely to respond well to unnecessary intrusion on their personal life.

The key to maintaining a strong relationship with your child in a frequently electronic-based world is regular, open, and encouraging communication. Agree on time limits to computer usage and have a dedicated ‘family time’ each day.

Communicating, setting proper limits

Communicating, there are many aspects to successfully raise a child, from building their confidence/self-esteem, to supporting their need for individuality and setting proper limits,

1. Responsibilities.

These should be on their ability. Putting responsibilities into practice earlier results in more successful patterns throughout. These could include, but are not limited to teenagers making their own lunches, their beds, doing dishes, taking out the trash, dog walking and backyard poop patrol.

It is your job as a parent to be clear to them how you want these items accomplished by giving clear, sequential directions on more than one occasion.

As they advance in years, these responsibilities can increase in complexity. (However, there is a delicate balance between reasonable expectations)

For example, youngsters should not be running the household or be completely accountable for their smaller siblings.

2. Engage with your children.

Communicating this can be accomplished in a variety of ways. Having weekly family meetings is one option. Having supper together as often as possible (with electronic devices, for parents and youth, turned off), is vital! Bits of help get a feel for how things go on a daily basis.

First, parents have to learn to listen to the subtext of their children’s conversations. In other words, what aren’t they saying? Additionally, what behavior do you want to see in your youth?

One specific tool that is very useful for engaging your family in conversation is creating a talking stick. The stick is put together by the whole family. Then at the dinner table (or in the living room) the stick is handed to each individual so they can report on their day, their concerns and their successes.

3. Reward positive behavior.

Communicating appreciate the things they accomplish. An example might be that they’ve got themselves up in the morning for school, they’ve accomplished some of the goals that you set together; passion about a school project or extracurricular activity or helping at home.

Parents make huge errors with their children by focusing on what they do wrong. Out of habit, they utilize primary negative attention.

A youngster’s brain is wired to desire parental attention. Negative attention is better than none. So behavior will continue to be displayed inappropriately to obtain any sort of response.

4. Encourage negotiation

Communicating when appropriate If it your child to convince you of something; if it is reasonable. Showing that you have some flexibility supports their growth as long as you remain steadfast on the important issues.

Develop the idea that you trust them. This knowledge will go a long way in supporting their growth. This flexibility is not the same as “giving in” after they wear you down on a specific subject. “Say what you mean and mean what you say“.

Communication is not limited to just talking with your child. Listening is essential. Also, picking up on non-verbal cues (body language) are an important aspect of understanding children as they get older and look for independence. So looking for non-verbal cues may help better time/adapt your approaches (to converse).

The key is showing that you care by keeping communication channels open. We are all better off when Parents are Talking and Listening.

For some further reading, you may want to check out the writings answers to an about. “Untangled: Guiding Teenage Girls Through the Seven Transitions into Adulthood“.